Oh Danny Boyle...

...Britain is singing your praises today.

We have to say we LOVED the daftery in your London 2012 Olympic extravaganza.

Mr Bean doing Chariots of Fire...



The Queen dropping in. The farmyard animals. The bouncing on the beds. Voldermort. Mary Poppins gone mad. And the part with the nurses that we don't give a MONKEYS whether the rest of the world understood or not - cos Britain LOVED IT!

So in honour of you, Mr Danny Boyle, here are a three daft film moments we've loved from you...

1) Vacuuming Completely Nude in Paradise

A thousands LOLs to this motivational sales tape scene with Timothy Spall. All you need to know to earn your commission...



2) Slumdog Millionaire - The Train Scene

Fun and colourful, chaotic and quite beautiful - this scene from Danny Boyle's Oscar winner just makes me want to get back to India and take one of those never-ending journeys, where the train is more like a festival (inside the carriages and on the roof!).



3) Trainspotting - The Toilet Scene

Surreal and grotesque and funny - stay away from the drugs kids, this could be where it ends up...

Stoke Newington gets torched...

I popped down Sainsbury's for a can of mushy peas this afternoon and I came across a bloke on a white horse...

...some dancing giants...

...some chicks with colourful feathers...

....some acrobatic types....

...and an OAP with a big flame in her hand.

"Don't do it, old woman," I cried. "It's not worth it."

...but she set fire to a bloke in broad daylight, she did, bold as anything. And everyone cheered her while she did it.

Whatever next, eh?

Of course. A large golden bottom.

Mr B.J. of Daft Hall

Love him or loathe him, it has to be said that Lord Mayor of Londinium, Boris Johnson, is a master of the art of daftery.

Hats off to the professional Mr Benn, who morphs so effortlessly between the following 6 characters:

1) mad scientist
2) circus clown
3) pissed headmaster
4) village idiot
5) cattle farmer
6) potential dictator who could decide to bring back death by firing squad

And now, across London town, we have the quiz show host's super-posh voice booming from every rail station tannoy with his prediction of Olympic travel chaos.

Bozza Johnson, we doff our chicken-feathered cap to you Sir.

The funniest thing is he might be our Prime Minister some day...

That's bound to cheer the country up no end.

I'm guessing Boris can count on Lewis Jolly's vote...